LEE MIRABAL:

Our guest is Olivia Fox Cabane, Executive Director of Spitfire Consulting, a New York – based company. Olivia's going to teach us a thing or two about getting hooked up with the right people. Olivia, what is the first thing we need to know about networking?

OLIVIA FOX CABANE:

Well, the first thing you need to know is what your goals are: what do you wish to accomplish by coming to this event?

LM:

So I tell myself that I need to go to this advertising gathering in order to sell my radio. Those are my goals, and I'm at an event. What do we do next?

OFC:

Look at the room. Who's talking to whom? What's the layout? Then, you're going to make a beeline for the buffet. People tend to be more accessible when they're eating, because their endorphin levels rise: it puts them in a better mood. Which will boost their memory, and they will remember you better. Try to approach people who are alone: it's easier to approach lone rangers than it is to break into an already-established group. Plus, you've got to remember one thing: those people standing alone are probably even more uncomfortable than you are. So by talking to them, you're putting them out of their misery- you're doing them a favor! Keep this in mind; it'll give you a lot more confidence.

LM:

So, someone like me who says "I can't stand networking, I hate it"! How can we overcome this?

OFC:

Most people are afraid of failure and rejection. They're afraid that the person they're talking to is either going to ignore them or, worse, embarrass them. But you've got to remember that there's a very slim chance that people will ignore or embarass you, if only because it's bad for business!

LM:

What separates an amateur from an expert networker, Olivia?

OFC:

Master Networkers know that they have exactly 10 seconds to make a great first impression. You get one chance, and that's it: everything else you say or do is going to be filtered through the screen of that first impression. Master Networkers develop a great handshake, good eye contact, and they pay special attention to people's names. You also need to keep your eyes on the person you're talking to: there's nothing more annoying than someone who keeps looking around the room while you're talking to see what more important people may be walking in.

LM:

So that's the first ten seconds. What happens next?

OFC:

You've got to be in a "givers gain" attitude, focusing on how you can help this individual. Who can you refer them to? You're contributing your time, your talents, and your expertise to your conversation partner. During the conversation, you want to focus on asking open-ended questions. People love to talk, and they're going to be grateful to you for giving them the opportunity to do so! If you keep the spotlight on them, you're doing what the great master, Dale Carnegie, advised: "You can make more friends in two months by becoming truly interested in other people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you". Your introduction is about telling people what you can do for them, because that's what they will remember. So when someone asks you "So what do you do?" You want to tell them, for example "I help my clients create and manage wealth", if you're a financial advisor. People will go around saying- "I met this great guy, he helps people get rich, can you imagine?" That's something they'll remember.

LM:

Do you go into companies and teach them how to network?

OFC:

Absolutely!

LM:

Thank you, and I hope we can have you back again!