Benjamin Franklin had an odd habit: he would routinely ask for favors of his political adversaries. They were small favors—borrowing a book, for instance—but they were favors indeed. Why on earth would he indebt himself in this way to his enemies? Because he knew that getting people to do things for you is one of the fastest ways to get them to like you.

This is, in fact, a very rational reaction. It’s the result of our nearly obsessive desire to be and to appear consistent with what we have already done, because consistency is highly valued in our society. Think about it—what is someone with a high degree of consistency called? They’re considered reliable, dependable, etc. Au contraire, someone viewed as inconsistent will be called irresponsible, unreliable, weak-minded, and so forth.

When an individual does something, the need for consistency pressures him or her to bring what they feel and believe into line with what they have just done. People don’t like to feel inconsistent, so they rationalize their actions.

When someone willingly does something good for you, they have two ways of thinking about it:

1. I helped someone I don’t like and/or who isn’t worth it. I must be really daft. (How likely is this thought to be favored?)
2. I helped someone I like and who is worth it. Of course that’s why I did it—I wouldn’t have helped them otherwise—I’m not stupid after all. Far more agreeable to think of oneself, isn’t it?