Seven Simple Secrets...
.... To making people feel good about
themselves
1. Tell them all the good you think of them.
2. Tell someone who you know will get
the word back to them. Extra points if
it's their boss.
3. Tell the world: praise them in public
4. Tell them the good things you've
heard others say about them.
5. Ask them for their "opinion" (don't
ask for "advice", advice implies work)
6. Thank them for their help, and show
them the impact they've had on you: how
you've changed because of what they've
said, done, or the example they set.
7. Share the glory with them when you
get kudos for anything in which they've
participated
Get more tips, tools, and insider's
secrets in the
Pocket Guide to Becoming a
Superstar In Your Field
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Dear Olivia,
Welcome to a glorious fall! You'll find here selected
musings, with the hope that they might provide you with
some food for thought. As always, I'd love to hear your
own thoughts, opinions, or items you might be wondering
about.
Yours,
Olivia
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When advising a friend recently on
his transition into a new job, I suddenly realized how similar
the advice was to what I recommended to my clients who were
transitioning to a new role in the same company, or to a
different geographic location. Just how widely could this
"transition bueprint" be used? I'll leave that up to your
creativity- and in the meantime, here goes...
@ Start as early as possible; ideally as soon as you know of the
transition. One of the main factors in the strength of a
relationship, and therefore in the strength of a network, is
time. If you start building your network well before your
transition, by the time you actually arrive, you'll be welcomed
like an old friend.
@ Strategize: whom can you reach out to? Look at all aspects of
your background, history and personality. What hobbies or
interests do you have? What is your cultural background? This
could be nationality, origin, or even faith. What service
organizations or causes do you believe in? Each of these might
have groups to reach out to in your new environment. You also
want to look at potential interests, things you've wanted to
try.
@ Research what's available, and map the people behind each
group. Research the top people in each-what might you have in
common with them? What credibility do you have in this
particular field?
@ Contact your targets, highlighting your common ground, your
interest in them, and your desire to reach out and be of
service. If possible, find some way to be of use to group even
before your transition, so you arrive with goodwill already
stored up.
@ Set up as many meetings as possible with your new contacts for
the month of your arrival--and remember the power of food in
building trust and comfort! (See Olivia's Blog)
@ Use your status as a newbie to its fullest potential : This is
a perfect excuse to roam the halls of your new office, meeting
people from as different departments as you can, and introducing
yourself to all and sundry- remember, the broader your network,
the more powerful it is!
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How to
say "no" with ease, grace, and efficiency |
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Is saying "no"
to people one of the hardest things you can
do? It can be. Or it can become a way to
make people like you even better than they
did before-if you know the proper mental
aikido moves. You have a couple of ways to
do this:
1. Make them laugh: if you can turn the
refusal into something so funny they fall
off their chair laughing, they'll smile
every time they think of it. It should, of
course, make them look good: you could
create a cartoon depicting the situation as
a super-hero world (with them as the
superhero), or even make a comedy podcast
out of the situation.
2. Share a secret: turn the request refusal
into an opportunity to confide, to open up,
make them feel that they are the privileged
and trusted recipients of highly
confidential information. Human beings
naturally love secrets-we have an innate
tendency to value what is scarce, be it
resources (diamonds are valuable because...)
opportunities (this is your last chance
to...) or information (don't you
automatically perk up and pay close
attention when someone tells you a secret?)
3. If you, indeed, do wish you could've said
yes, point out to them all the reasons why
this is so-all the reasons why you would've
loved to say yes, and all the reasons why it
pains you to say no. The more empathy you
show (particularly using the full range of
facial expressions, voice tones and body
language) the more they will feel that you
really, truly understand them. Of course, in
this case you'd better have an irrefutable
reason why your acceptance cannot be given.
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Get the goodies:
quick tips, articles, and more... |
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Latest News... |
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@" Let's
talk. Let me outline the ways" is a highly
entertaining read which Lisa Belkin highlights the
dangers of wanting things your way. Remember-- the more
adaptable you are, the more powerful you are.
Full Disclosure: Belkin also makes me sound
pithier than I'd ever hoped I could be.
@ "A
New Direction" is Entrepreneur Magazine's
feature article on young "entourage-style"
entrepreneurs. The issue currently out on the newsstands
features a full-length photo of yours truly, standing
with a rather peculiar expression.
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